The plan....

So everythings set for the future, well the next three years at least... Maybe a little too set. I got offered two places at two uni's. The first allowed me to combine two of my greatest loves, Drama Performance and Stage Management. Nobody thought that one was a good idea. The uni's reputation wasn't as good as it could be, the course wouldn't get me the career i want or at least i think i want and the location was, well less than ideal, 35 minuets from home...Too close for a fresh start so they say... im not sure i agree... The second offered one of the highest accreditted courses in the country at one of the most desirable uni's in the country. It would allow and aid me get the job i want and be the best start for the future. 2.3O hours from home, far enough to start again, to re-establish myself yet close enough to know i'm not too far away, plus it gave the chance to spend another 3 years with Tom, who means more than the world to me...Everybody seemed to like this one...
However, the first meant i was in my comfort zone, the place i work best. It meant i could be there for those near to me when i need to be, when times require it, it meant i could achieve things yet not feel like i've missed out on so much. The second has ripped me out of everything i know, turned it all on its head, thrown it around and put it back upside down.
Hmm guess which one i took? The second,,, Like a fool im starting to believe... Change scares me, really scares me. Its always been that way...It will always be that way. Change in my world is unecessary. Yet something else that has always been in my life is the desire to please, the desire to do what others want and follow to the word what they say. So with all these people telling me whats best for me, i had to listen.. i had to do it, i had to choose the second one.. Doesn't matter about me, its just my three years.. Don't get me wrong, im not blamiing anyone but myself. Me and my rubbishness and my crapness and my inabililty to do anything for myself especially thinking.
I'm scared of what the future holds, im scared of the changes about to happen in my life, im scared of being alone, im scared of leaving so many behing, im scared of... Im scared of it all.. yet theres no way out...

''Drink up and Dance on love, thats all there is to do''